Please Dun Anyhow Think

Today did not go school as ytd did not sleep well. My skin irritates me. Mabel gave me a morning call but i wanted to sleep a bit longer after that go bath den go school but i oversleep so decide not to go school as wanted to sleep(rest). Mabel Called me again and i said that i no going to school den she ask if  i got go K at 2pm, i say got cause Cythia will not be happy if i did not go. But later around 11am, i msg cythia that i will not go den she reply, pay her 10 bucks tmr.. i dun know y did not go mux pay but anyway, she did say to me before la so k lor, i dun mind paying cause she did tell me if nv go muz pay. 

In the morning Mabel was like not happy as did not go school still got go K but in the late mornin she called my house phone but sound happy, dun know y..

Mabel: Sorry did not realised that u called me on Sunday cause if i know u called me, i will call back to u de. Sorry...

This morning thought of dying cause really suffering for me. Had so call a dream of jumping down from my house outside and jus yi liao bai liao... It made me feel so relief/ relax when i had that thought... but i can't...

I do have run away from problem(s) b4 but after that i will go face it. Running away will not solve the problem but we are just human being. Asking me face with so many problem though at different time but i will still feel tired and afraid. I still will run away from problem.

I hate myself, i do want/ like suffering....